Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Vaguely Hungry (days 17 to 28)

Last time, I called my companions fearless. That was really a misconception on my part. Insane would be much more descriptive. Strangely, I didn't come to this conclusion when they blithely walked up to the strange cemetery. When the dread inhabitant of said cemetery challenged them to a duel, I did not revise my opinion. Even when Mustafa challenged that same dread inhabitant who nearly killed Tuon in one blow during their duel. I did not think them crazy, just really brave.

It was when we blithely kept walking south past the point of no return on our food supply. That did it. Their eyes fixed only the possibilities of this ancient and abandoned tower, they simply didn't care that we didn't have enough food to get back. South, always to the south. Joking and laughing about figuring out how to animate a giant snake from bones to be their servant once they live in the tower. Where do they get these ideas? Its like a clear cut image in the heads of the 3. They want Hulia's floating tower, and they want a giant bone cobra to ride.

Once, I asked Mustafa what purpose a bone cobra serves. "Is it useful? What does it do?," I asked him.

He looked at me like I was strange in the head and replied simply, "It does bone cobra stuff! Of Course!".

Friday, November 30, 2007

Days and days and day (7 to 16)

The journey since we left the undead city of Talon's Junction has been brutal and scary. We said good bye and walked off the edge of civilization. The goblin has been showing me the maps he's been making, from what information can be found. Despite all his crude drawings on my things, his map making skills are amazingly refined. The labels on the maps however, "Mustafa's forest of richs" and "Magnificant's Land", lead me to believe he's only making the maps so he knows what to conquer and sell later.

Lord Nellen's main city sits in the south of his lands. Though, the reality of it is that, there's nothing south of Talon's Junction. We walked out of the biggest city I've ever seen into near howling wilderness; almost immediately. The grass here in the plains is dense, tough, and thorny. Awful stuff to walk through, I can see why Zoe and Mustafa have frequent attacks of their grass allergies and have to ride on my shoulders. Zoe doesn't wear shoes, so I can understand her plight. The goblin has armored boots however, so maybe grass bits get down in them?

The walking was tiring but not bad. What was bad was, several days out, we came under attack by these huge earth elementals for no good reason. Those things were terrifying! They roar out of the ground all of a sudden and attack us with fists made of iron and granite! 5 or 6 of them gave our group bad trouble, I was very afraid I was going to die when one of them came after the mule I was protecting. There's still a wide difference between me and my companions. I was only able to hurt those creatures with my best creation magic attacks; which are exhausting. If the drow hadn't saved me, I wouldn't be writing this now. Those bruises won't go away quickly though. I guess I'm not allowed to make fun of him when he talks to his weapons anymore.

Anyway, after repeated attacks, we figured out that earth-magic runes could be used to make the elementals not care about us. Zoe was positively gleeful when our group decided that we needed her to cover us in runes made of mud. I think the drow has about three times more mud than is strictly needed to write the runes with. At least the mud was clean and has improved the goblin's smell. I just feel dirty, always dirty. We have to renew the runes every few hours, and there's no way to bathe out here. Grit and dirt are in every part of my armor, food, packs, and clothing now. We all look like avalanche survivors. I never knew hero work would be like this!

We've spotted some kind of huge cemetery out in the plains here. We'll be getting close to it soon. My companions seem utterly fearless about it. The thing gives me the creeps. Why would there be a miles-wide cemetery out in the middle of nothing?

Monday, November 26, 2007

Day 6: Undead or Just Dead?

The more I travel with Tuon, Zoe, and Mustafa, the more I feel like I really don't know anything at all about this world. We're just now leaving Talon's Junction - massive trade hub for this portion of the continent, apparently.

First among the reasons I'm glad we're leaving is that humans seem to be bought and traded there like cattle. Not cool - especially when you walk in without an owner's stamp or sigil on you showing that you can't be stolen. It's funny that, with the loss of all one's rights, there's some measure of protection. Not that eventually being slaughtered and raised as an undead servant changes from one owner to another, I suspect. At least the team hasn't followed through on their promise of buying me a girlfriend from the human stalls. I half suspect they're serious about that...

We met with this Lord Nellen guy again. God, what a freak fest. Eventually I'll stop being horrified by everything that I've seen so far. Though that may be a long time coming. So he's a vampire for sure. But he's got Lich's, wights, ghosts, zombies... the whole shebang. Apparently he's in charge of them too. He had a big welcoming reception for us - with food that beats anything I had back in the Val! I don't think I'd ever experienced any flavors like that before... there aren't even words I know that I could use to describe them.

Well, Tuon had an interesting flavor that I don't think I'll ever know - baby. I swear... the more I'm around him (and the more he talks to his sword, spear, armor, and himself), the less safe I feel. The drow definitely seems a bit off kilter. The other day in the library I caught him muttering about some sort of dark artifact. Of course, having an unstable psychopath who hasn't killed me outright probably beats Mustafa. I think I might hang myself if I find any more goblin nudie pictures in my stuff. He means well... but oh god, if I ever see any more "Green Girls Gone Wild" or "Big Booty Goblin Bitches" magazines in my stuff, I may have to off myself. That and his training methods. He's teaching me swordsmanship - the hard way. I think this will have to coincide with me learning healing magic. I guess the best way to learn from your mistakes is to be doubled over in pain from them. That and he's pretty much the most blatantly megalomaniacal and greedy thing I've ever met in my life.

Zoe, the monster child, doesn't try to give me porn, nor does she strike me as the type who would outright snap and go on a homicidal rampage. I hate to say it, but she may be the most even-keeled... person? thing? among my companions. I guess I have to say I probably feel the most kinship with her - from what I understand, she's all about becoming more worldly. I don't know how she feels about becoming a hero (like I will eventually be), but at least she's not as obviously... bad... as my other companions.

Better cut this short. It seems like everyone's waking up. We're off to find some floating tower where a demon died or something. What does this mean to me? Another day of carrying their stuff for my training. And possibly being doubled over in pain from training.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Day 3: A Long Road Ahead

We've just set up camp and everyone has settled down for the night. My companions have entrusted me with standing guard tonight. They say that it is part of my training, that I will need to sharpen my wits and have a keen eye at all times.... I think I hear the goblin laughing in his sleep.

I still know very little of my companions, though they seem to have taken well to the idea of training me to become a great adventurer like them. Just today I was educated upon the nature of vampires and why they have no genitalia, and after that I learned that the best way to protect yourself from their dark powers is to bathe only when absolutely necessary and coat yourself in excess mud whenever possible. I'm not sure about that last one, but I guess the bathing thing makes sense.

I think the drow may be going crazy. He suddenly sat straight up and threw a rock at his sword and then hissed at it to shut up.

I'm a little nervous about meeting this Lord Nellen in his town. I heard from my companions that he is some powerful lord in this area, and though he has seemed hospitable thus far I can't help but worry.

I think thats all for now. My arms and back are still sore from carrying the goblin this afternoon. I never knew someone's feet could be allergic to grass. Maybe thats why they lived in a cave?

Monday, November 5, 2007

Day 1: Leaving Home

Here begins the my journal....
This page shall mark the start of my story....
It was a bright and promising day when I left home....
A drow, a goblin, and a spikey-haired monster girl walk into a bar.....

Writing a journal is going to be harder than I expected. This is my, Steve's, journal. I'm the son of guard captain Rick of the former township of the valley. Our people have been forced to flee our ancestral home to avoid being slaughtered by the mist dwellers err.. by the undead armies of Lord Necromungus.

Before the attack on our village, 3 very strange beings wandered in from the mountain pass. They say to have come from underground and form a very odd team. One is a dark elf who seems to command magics very similar in nature to what the undead use. He's also had no problems usurping the undead's possessed weaponry for his own ends.

There's also a short, burly man with green skin and a foul oder. He calls himself a 'magnificent' but the others call him a goblin. Despite his gruff nature and toilet humor, his actions have proven him in my mind to be a decent being. He fought very fiercely for our town and is training me in swordsmanship. I'm still more comfortable with an axe though.

The third of their number is a short, monster girl with very spiky hair and an even more spiky club. She is both cute and scary at the same time, but generally mild mannered and friendly when conversed with. On the battlefield however she is 500 pounds of fury in 100 pounds of monster; sneaking, leaping, and smashing always.

Having saved us from the undead, these travelers have parted ways with the townsfolk. I've convinced them to let me come along in the hopes that I'll be able to make something of myself - something other than the son of the guard captain.

I can tell its going to be a hard journey. We're wandering off into an unknown land ruled by warring undead lords and I know very little of my chosen companions or their goals right now.

I think the goblin pooped in my sleeping bag.. Oh dear, that smell is never coming out.